New Fic (Need Beta Readers, Karma Opportunities)

[Dessa]

Yup, I wrote a new fic. And I need beta readers before I put it up on ff.net. And a title.

So, first off, the karma opportunities. 3 karma are up for grabs for this (this is how desperate I am to get feedback...).

The first two are for identifying the 2 anime this is of (it's a crossover). The first person to identify each series gets it. One is obvious, the other isn't (until I name the characters).

The last is for finding a title for me. I'm stumped on what to call this.

~~~~~
And now, the prologue of the story (it's really short, to tease you guys):

Eyes blinked as they entered the darkened room, adjusting to the difference in light. A lone figure clothed in black stood in the room with a katana, practicing forms. The figure didn’t notice the light coming from the open doorway, nor the presence of the intruder, so intent were they on their forms.

When the form was finished, they turned, as if just realizing there was someone there, and looked at the person standing there.

“You have a mission,” the person said, and left, encasing the room in complete darkness once again

[Secretofmana]

Hmm....I'll volunteer as a Beta reader. And sorry for not giving opinions on your Xeno fic. >_< I really don't know many anime, though. But I'll try anyways! The prologue makes for a good prologue. It's intresting.......Makes me want to read more as to find out this 'mission'......Great job so far! But, I just don't get the practising forms part. Is this person a shape-shifter? Is he practising forms of sword-fighting? However, it's still a great prologue none the less!

[Gus]

'forms' are sets of moves used in martial arts. And yeah, I'll be a reader.

[Dessa]

Yay!! I'll post chapter 1 tonight... it sets up the story better than the first part (yes, those were martial arts forms [specifically, sword forms] that the figure was practicing), and you can start guessing the anime. One'll be fairly obvious.

Remember, I need a title, too.

((Characters don't get named until the end of chapter 2 or the beginning of chapter 3, though))


~~~~~

Okay, now here's Chapter 1. Remember, Karma for guessing the 2 anime and giving me a title!

~~~~~

Chapter 1:

Along the tops of buildings, a black clothed figure ran toward the coming dusk, jumping from building to building. The figure had reddish-orange hair, pulled into two buns at their neck. In the figure’s hand was a sheathed katana. The figure stared straight ahead, not taking in their surroundings, focusing completely on their target.

~~~~~

On the street below, two men walked, one blond, one brunette. The brunette led, but not with his usual, easily excitable style. The blond followed, intent on their purpose. He gave off no discernable emotions.

Neither noticed the figure paralleling them along the building roofs.

~~~~~

The twilight was pierced by a woman’s scream. Both the figure on the roofs and the pair on the ground increased their speed, heading toward that direction.

~~~~~

The sight that greeted the two men was horrific. A strange monster was crouched over a woman, with a pool of blood forming under her body. The monster looked up, sensing its new opponents, and the brunette stepped forward, as if accepting the challenge. The monster moved toward him, away from the woman, and the blond moved toward her, to see if she was still alive.

The brunette faced off against the monster, but before he could make a move, the monster turned suddenly, and charged the blond, whose back was turned. The brunette knew he couldn’t get there in time, but before he could shout to warn his partner, another’s voice was heard.

“Don’t just stand there, get out of the way!”

~~~~~

The figure couldn’t believe the stupidity of the two men. It appeared that they could see her target, but to turn a back to it? The figure dove down and knocked the blond out of the way, and received a swipe of claws across their back. The figure yelled in pain, and the blond winced.

Across from them, the brunette started to run over toward them, but the figure looked up, and yelled in pain “No!” The brunette stopped in his tracks. “Destroy the mask!” the figure yelled, and, for the first time, the brunette and blond noticed that a mask did indeed cover the monster’s face.

The brunette yelled at the monster, distracting it from the others. The monster turned to him, and, with a flash of light, the mask was destroyed, and the monster began to disintegrate. The blond helped his wounded savior up to their feet, and the brunette walked over to meet them. On his way, he stopped and picked something up off the ground.

The three looked at each other, green eyes meeting purple eyes meeting gold eyes, and then the figure passed out.

[Gus]

Bleach, I suppose...

[Pinkechidna]

Decendants of Darkness?

[Dessa]

Gah... Okay, so Bleach made it obvious, but I didn't think Yami no Matsuei was that obvious...


**goes back to drooling over Soka-chan in episode 13**

hmm... to stay up until 2am this morning watching it again or not...

[Pinkechidna]

Yeah, it was Ashil who got me hooked on Decendants of Darkness.

Yay, Karma for me!

I can't wait to read more, I don't know much about Bleach, but this is an interesting story. ^_~

[Dessa]

I love Yami no Matsuei...

Anyway, here's chapter 2. I think it's the longest one in the story so far (I have, like 11 or 12 chapters written).

~~~~~

Chapter 2:

Gold eyes fluttered open, and took in their surroundings. A warm bed, in a comfortable, yet cluttered, room. The wounds on their back had been bandaged, and the torn robes replaced with an oversized t-shirt.

“You’re awake?” a voice asked, and the eyes took in the brunette standing over the bed. A nod was the reply. “How are you feeling?” was the next question, as he helped the figure to sit up.

“Surprisingly alright,” came the response, as the figure took in more of the room, and the morning light pouring in through a crack in the curtains. “How is your friend?”

“He’s alright. A little shaken up, but he’ll be fine. He’s sleeping on the couch.” The door was waved at, indicating that said couch was on the other side of it.

“Where am I? This definitely isn’t Earth.”

The brunette looked down, sheepishly. “Yeah… about that… We didn’t know what to do, so we…” He trailed off, then told the story of what had happened the night before.

~~~~~

The blond was shocked at the figure suddenly collapsing next to him. He struggled to keep them from falling over, until his partner helped him.

“What are we gonna do?” the brunette asked.

“It was our fault that he was injured, it’s our responsibility to take care of him.”

“Her.”

“What?”

“Her,” the brunette repeated. The blond looked again, and, now that he had a chance to actually look at the figure, indeed noticed the two bulges on the figure’s chest indicating gender. “We should take her back with us,” the brunette continued.

“We can’t do that! It’s against all sorts of rules!” the blond protested.

“What else can we do?” The blond sighed. “We’ll take her back to my place. No one else needs to know she’s there.” The blond sighed again, and the brunette knew that he’d won the argument… for once.

~~~~~

“Sorry about having to change your clothes, but you’re kimono was pretty badly shredded, and we did need to bandage your wounds.” He was blushing. The girl blushed also, and then there was a knock at the door.

Without opening the door, a voice on the other side asked “Do either of you want something to eat? I just put a pot on the stove to make tea.”

“How’d you know she was awake?” the brunette asked, curious.

“Why else would you be so embarrassed right now?” came the reply, and the brunette blushed further.

“Some toast would be nice to go along with the tea,” the girl called, and movement away from the door was heard.

~~~~~

Not much later, the three sat around the kitchen table. There was a silence not heard in this apartment before, and, as she munched on her toast, the girl realized that she still didn’t know where “here” was. She was about to ask, when the blond started speaking.

“I called the office,” he stated simply. The brunette paused in eating, leaving his toast hanging out of his mouth. “They know something’s up. We’re supposed to bring her in.” He didn’t even look at the girl as he said this, saying it as if it were an ordinary, everyday thing.

The brunette sighed. “We’re gonna get yelled at, aren’t we?”

The blond shrugged. “I’m not saving you this time. It’s your own fault.” The brunette sighed again, and then the trio finished eating, again in silence.

~~~~~

Shortly after the breakfast scene, the trio were walking down a sakura-lined path to a large building. As her only clothes were torn, she had to borrow clothes from the men. Luckily, the blond was about her size, so a spare sweater and pair of jeans from him fit her.

“You know,” the brunette said, as if suddenly realizing something he’d forgotten. “We never did introduce ourselves.” He stopped, and turned to the other two, who were trailing behind him.

He held out his hand. “I’m Tsuzuki Asato.”

“Tsuzuki-san,” she repeated, shaking his hand.

The blond also held out his hand. “Kurosaki Hisoka.”

The girl froze a moment, then also grasp his hand. “Kurosaki… san.” The suffix was added haltingly, as if she wasn’t sure which one to use.

“Akarui Mikan,” she told them.

“Aka…” the blond started, but was interrupted by the brunette, who exclaimed “Mika-chan!”

Mikan looked at him for a moment, then walked right up to the taller man. “First off, it’s ‘Mikan,’ not ‘Mika-chan.’ Second, who gave you the right to speak to me so causually?”

The brunette made a big show of jumping and hiding behind his partner. “Soka-chan… kowai desu!”

The blond sighed. “Please ignore Tsuzuki-san. His brain stopped developing at a young age.”

“Soka-chan!!” Tsuzuki protested, but dutifully followed behind Hisoka and Mikan.

[Dessa]

**pokes beta readers**

I wanna start posting this on ff.net... I need reviews...

[Gus]

Oh! It's good! I'm a little lost, cuz I dunt know Decendants of Darkness, but it's still good!

But ya gotta post more of it before I can really start reviewing!

[Secretofmana]

I like it too! There's alot of detail, and it's very well done so far! I'm a bit lost too...but I'll pull through!

[Dessa]

I'll post chapter 3 for you guys tonight, but please give me reviews over on fanfiction.net:

www.fanfiction.net/s/2458616/1/

~~~~~

Chapter 3:

“Well, here we are,” Hisoka announced, as they stood before a door in the office building.

“This is where your boss is?” Mikan asked.

“Well, technically not our boss, but he’s just as formidable,” Tsuzuki replied.

Mikan imagined her boss, and the others ranking above her, and shuddered. She hoped that if they were to get punished, it wouldn’t be too severely.

However, when the door was opened, she saw a man with glasses sitting behind a desk. Tsuzuki and Hisoka, however, still looked apprehensive, as they led her into the room.

“Good morning, Tsuzuki-san, Kurosaki-kun,” the man said. Mikan again started when she heard Hisoka’s name.

“Tatsumi-san,” Hisoka replied quietly.

The man, Tatsumi, turned his gaze to Mikan. “You must be our visitor.” Tsuzuki and Hisoka looked down, and Mikan just nodded. “It’s not often we get visitors from Soul Society, let alone a member of the 13 Squads of the Court of Pure Souls.” Tsuzuki and Hisoka looked up in surprise at Tatsumi, then at Mikan.

“I’m sorry, sir,” she started, unsure of how to address him properly, “but I still do not fully understand where I am, or how you know me.”

“Tatsumi-san, is fine,” he told her, and indicated that she could sit in one of the chairs he had in his office. Tsuzuki made a move for another one, but a glare from Tatsumi stopped him in his tracks.

“I’m not surprised that you don’t know about us. No offense, but you shinigami in Soul Society do tend to ignore anything outside of your own jurisdiction.”

“Shinigami?” Tsuzuki said in amazement. “Mika-chan’s a shinigami?” Tatsumi raised his eyebrows at Tsuzuki’s pet name for the girl, and she just sighed.

“Yes, shinigami,” she said. She figured she might as well fully introduce herself, especially to this Tatsumi person. “I am Akarui Mikan, a shinigami assigned to the 13 Squads of the Court of Pure Souls.”

“This is Meifu, Akarui-kun,” Tatsumi explained. “We are also shinigami, although we do not work for Soul Society. It is our job to assist spirits in crossing over, such as when they die an unnatural death, and to investigate strange occurrences. Tell me, what were you doing on Earth?”

“When I met you last evening, I was tracking down a hollow that I had been assigned to take care of.”

“Hollow… was that the monster from last night?” Hisoka’s quiet voice asked.

“Yes… Although I should have been able to defeat it before any innocent bystanders were injured.” She was referring to the woman killed. “However, for some reason, the hollow was inexplicably hard to locate. Usually it’s not difficult, because you can sense the spiritual energy it gives off. But this one seemed… I don’t know… protected.”

Tatsumi frowned, taking in this information. “Is this the first such hollow that you’ve run into?”

“Personally, yes. But I have heard rumors that other shinigami have had the same problem. And that these hollows have been seeming quite… organized.”

“It appears that you may be working on the same case as these two,” Tatsumi stated. Mikan looked at him in surprise.

“We’ve been investigating a series of murders,” Hisoka explained. “The woman last night… it’s the same as the other victims. It appears that your ‘organized’ hollows may be what we’re after.”

“But… none of this matches anything we know about hollows… It just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Could this have something to do with it?” Tsuzuki asked, taking an object out of his pocket. It was a small metal ring.

“May I see that?” Tatsumi asked. Tsuzuki handed him the ring. Tatsumi looked at it for a moment, then handed it to Mikan. “Have you ever seen anything like that?”

Mikan shook her head, completely perplexed as to what this object was. “Where did you get this, Tsuzuki-san?”

“It was on the ground where the hollow-thingy disappeared. I think it was on it.” Mikan frowned.

“Can I see it?” Hisoka asked.

She started to hand it to him, but as soon as the metal touched his skin, he clutched his head as if in pain. Mikan pulled the ring away from him immediately, as Tsuzuki and Tatsumi, in unison, cried out “Hisoka!” and “Kurosaki-kun!”

“Daijoubu desu ka?” Tatsumi asked, as Tsuzuki forced Hisoka into a seat, checking his partner’s condition.

“I’m fine,” Hisoka replied. “It was just… The lingering emotions… hatred, anger, pain, and… and fear…”

“Hatred, anger, and pain, I can understand, if that was in the hollow,” Mikan explained, although she did not understand what had happened. “But fear… Fear isn’t an emotion we generally associate with hollows.” She was quiet as she thought about what this might mean.

Tatsumi also was quiet, then stood up. “Tsuzuki-san, Kurosaki-kun, Akarui-kun,” he addressed them. “I ask that the three of you work together to solve this case. Truthfully, as hollows are involved, it is Akarui-kun’s jurisdiction, and not ours, but, as we have the data we’ve already collected, and this does not seem to be a normal case involving hollows, it seems in the best interest of all parties to work together. Is this acceptable, Akarui-kun?” Mikan nodded, and Tatsumi dismissed them.

“Well, where should we start?” Hisoka asked, as they headed out of the office.

“I need some supplies, if I’m going to be operating on Earth, so that should be our first stop,” Mikan replied.

“Supplies? What kind of supplies?” Tsuzuki asked.

Kurosaki-san was right… He is an idiot, Mikan thought as she looked at him. “I don’t exactly have a physical body,” she explained aloud. “If I’m to interact with anything on the mortal plane, or question anyone, I’ll need a body.”

Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka questioningly, but his partner just shrugged and followed behind the strange shinigami.

[Secretofmana]

Coooool! I can't find anything wrong with it so far! Good idea, creating a mystery that will intrigue the reader into reading on! *claps and wants to read next chapter*

[Dessa]

If you wanna think up a title for me, you'd better hurry... I've actually got someone reviewing over on ff.net who's helping me with a title idea, too... And I've actually got 107 hits on the story!!!

And so, without further adieu, Chapter 4

~~~~~

“Where are we going?” Tsuzuki asked. Just ahead of him, Hisoka sighed.

Mikan, wearing her repaired kimono and hakama, slowed her step to walk beside Hisoka. “How many times has he asked this now?”

Hisoka sighed again. “At least it’s not he’s not whining ‘Are we there yet?’ anymore.” Mikan sighed this time, and sped up slightly.

“Here we are!” She suddenly announced. Hisoka and Tsuzuki looked around, and saw a small building, which appeared to be a traditional Japanese store.

“Here?” Tsuzuki asked. Mikan nodded, then walked to the front of the shop.

As she approached the door, it slid open, and a young boy and girl were standing there.

“Hey!” the boy yelled. “What are you doing here?”

Tsuzuki leaned over to Hisoka. “Shouldn’t he not be able to see her?”

Hisoka hit his partner on the back of the head. “Baka. He obviously has a high enough spiritual power to be able to see her.”

Oblivious to the two behind her, Mikan walked up to the two children. She stood a good two heads taller than them, and seemed pleased to be able to tower over the boy. He glared at her for a moment, then she knelt down and ruffled the girl’s hair.

“Ohayou, Ururu-chan.” She glared back at the boy, and then, as an afterthought, added “Chibisuke,” at which point he turned around and went back into the store.

“You’re here to see the manager, right?” Ururu asked. Mikan nodded. “I’m sure Jinta told him you were here. Come inside.” The girl led Mikan, Tsuzuki, and Hisoka into the shop.

“Ah, Mikan-chan! How are you today?” a chipper voice called out. Hisoka and Tsuzuki looked to see a man they assumed was the store manager. He wore a green kimono-like shirt and pants, a black open robe over them, and a striped hat. Hisoka thought that his voice sounded somehow... familiar.

“Kisuke-san,” Mikan replied, bowing to the man. “I am in need of a few items. I also wish to speak with you… about a private matter.”

The man nodded, and led Mikan and her companions to a back room. He gestured for them to be seated on mats laying on the ground by a table. The three did so as he left the room briefly, returning with tea, which he sat on the table.

“Now that we’re settled, what brings you to my humble shop, Mikan-chan?” Tsuzuki noted that she didn’t object to him calling her ‘chan,’ but thoughtfully kept his mouth shut. “And who are your friends? It’s not often that I see shinigami from Meifu in this neck of the woods.”

“I should have known you’d know who they were, Kisuke-san,” Mikan replied, and then introduced them. “Tsuzuki-san, Kurosaki-san, this is Urahara Kisuke.” Kisuke’s eyebrows raised slightly at Hisoka’s name, but he otherwise showed no outward sign of surprise. “Kisuke-san, these are Tsuzuki Asato and Kurosaki Hisoka.”

“Kurosaki, huh…” Kisuke said quietly, but quickly changed the subject before his comment could sink into Hisoka’s mind, and the boy questioned him. “I take it, as you seem to be working with Meifu shinigami, that you’re going to need a gigai.” Mikan nodded. “I’ve only got one in stock right now, but it is female, and an appropriate age. I’ll even discount you for it, since you don’t get a choice. You can pay for it, right?”

Hisoka felt for his wallet, unsure of what this man was going to charge them. Tatsumi only gave them so much money, and he doubted that the secretary had forseen this complication. But before he could think too far on this, Mikan had pulled out a cell phone from her robes.

“I’ve been saving up for emergencies,” she said, handing the phone to Kisuke, “so there should be enough on here.”

Kisuke looked at the phone for a few minutes, then nodded. “There’s plenty, but be careful with it, maintenance can be pricey if you’re sloppy with it.” Mikan nodded understanding, and then stood up with the shopkeeper. “Right. So if you’ll come with me…”

Tsuzuki and Hisoka were then left on their own, and Tsuzuki happily munched on the biscuits that Kisuke had brought with the tea. Hisoka, meanwhile, was wondering just what kind of body that Mikan would receive, and why the shopkeeper had looked at him strangely.

A few minutes later, the pair returned, and Hisoka and Tsuzuki were shocked. Tsuzuki jumped up, and lunged for Mikan, yelling “Mika-chan~!” but Hisoka put his foot out and tripped his partner before he could embarrass himself. Hisoka’s eyes were wide with surprise, but he couldn’t find the words to put in his open mouth.

“What?” Mikan asked, as Kisuke handed her a mirror. Gone were her deep orange buns and golden eyes, replaced with sandy blond hair and green eyes. She lowered the mirror, and blinked, realizing the shock. Her gigai looked just like Hisoka!

“Kisuke!!” she yelled, leaping toward the man, but he jumped back before she could grab him.

“I told you, it’s the only one I have in stock!” he told her. “Remember, I’m giving you a discount!” He spoke as one defending himself, but it was obvious he was having problems keeping from laughing.

“Enough!” Mikan yelled, snapping Hisoka back to the present as well. “I guess this will have to do. At least it’s comfortable enough.” She settled herself back down on her mat. “We need information now, Kisuke-san.” The man grinned, seating himself.

“We found this on a hollow,” Mikan explained, as Tsuzuki handed him the metal ring. Hisoka slid back a bit, not wanting to touch it again.

Kisuke looked at the ring critically for a few minutes, then sat it down on the floor between them.

“Do you know what it is?” Mikan asked.

“Yes,” Kisuke replied, and then was silent. When it looked like Mikan was about to protest him not answering, he spoke again. “You see this here?” he held up the ring, and pointed to a small marking on it. It read ’12.’ “A while back, someone in Soul Society had the grand idea of trying to create a device to control hollows. Needless to say, not a whole lot of people were pleased with this idea, and so the project was scrapped. This ring was one of the ones they’d developed. But they were supposed to have all been destroyed.”

“Well,” Mikan sarcastically remarked, “we all know how well Soul Society really is at destroying their ‘scrapped’ projects…”

At this, Kisuke had to laugh. He remembered the last time Mikan had had to pay him a visit, and she had been ‘attacked’ by the modified soul known as Kon. “At any rate, if this was on of a hollow, than someone found the test rings, and, most likely, the control ring, and is using them.”

“That would explain the hollows abnormal behavior, then,” Mikan replied. “If they’re being controlled, that is. But who’s doing the controlling?” Kisuke shrugged, he was without answers this time.

The trio stood up. Mikan bowed to Kisuke, and then they left.

Once outside, Tsuzuki ran up between Mikan and Hisoka, and threw his arms around each of their shoulders. “You two look just like twins!” he exclaimed, only to receive cold glares from both of them.

~~~~~

Can anyone catch the inside joke that I added to that?