The Grand List of Console RPG Cliches

[Dessa]

A bunch of you have probably already read this, but I find it amusing, nonetheless... That, and I don't have the link on my computer anymore, and needed to transfer it from vanman's to mine.

project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

[Secretofmana]

XDDDDDD I just finished reading the entire list. It's so true!! XDDDDD Fire Emblem Sacred Stones has quite a few of them so far, too!

[Gus]

...

wow.

Looking over this, a surprising amount have already been included in the rpgmaker game I'm makin'...

Ah well, I guess that's a good sign!

((666th post... oh god, that's creepy...))

[Vasuki]

That is one of the most beautiful lists I have ever seen.... *whipes tear from eye*

I shall print it later, and read it often.

[Lovely]

Yep, I even have this list linked to in my old livejournal. I love this list EVER so much XD .

[Keyblade]

Haha! I can relate most of those things to Kingdom Hearts! That's too funny! XD

[Dessa]

I think my favorites are still "Heads I win, Tails you lose (Graf Rule)" and "I don't like Gears or Fighting" ((hey Lovely... think Gundam SEED with the 2nd one...))


I think there are 4 or 5 rules named for XenoGears characters...

[Lovely]

Final Fantasy(s), Lunar(s), Chrono whatever(s), and Xenogears, Skies of Arcadia, and Grandia. Those are all the "rule name" references I could catch. There's probably more ^^;.

Oh anyhoo, here is my favorite rule.
Rule # 189

# The Moral Of The Story (Ghaleon Rule)
Every problem in the universe can be solved by finding the right long-haired prettyboy and beating the crap out of him.

[Gus]

Long haired? Pretty?

*looks around nervously*

Uh... eheh... you don't REALLY believe that rule, do ya?

[Greenfire]

XD Yes, that list is a funny one. And yet sadly true...

Oh yeah, I like 189 too. That's the main law of nature. *kicks evildoer with long hair*

[Oversoul]

Read it many times before, still find it funny.
Oddly enough, I thought this topic title said "gitches" rather than "cliches" Then again, who'd make a list of RPG glitches?

[Ghostgodzilla]

Hmmnn... I've been gradually working on the plot of my own RPG... I'm going to go thru and see what ones I'm guilty of so far.

1- Yep he's asleep. And he's having a dream.
2-Not annilated, just damaged. And it's more of a mercinary village.
3-Thankfully no.
4-No girl has a Mcguffin.
5-Sorta. Biologically and praticlly he's17. Chronollogicly.... I really should make an RPG lead who can legally drink.
6-Well he does have two adoptive parents. Biologically is a different matter though...
7-Guilty. Guilty as sin.
8-No, everone will have a name. Thank god for the big book of world baby names.
9-Yes I do plan on most of them.
10-Actually the exact oppisite...
11-Depends. Did you save after beating the game?
12-Adopted family is middle class. Biologiacal I don't know.
13- Well the lead has long hair, but it obeys gravity.
14-I want to put in a scene picking on this.
15-going through this...
No princess. I do have an ageless queen though.
Nope. She's a mage and a fighter, not demure, and is not the last of her race. Oh and the plot does not revolve around her.
No real corrallary. No ones disfigured.
Only sword users is female. No goth this time. Closest equivelent is not a Bishiee.
I have an angrey female sworduser. She mellows after a while.
I have a lead charecter from something else appearing as a party member. Does he count.
None of the mercinaries are grim or selfish.
You get everybody autimaticly.
I have an non humoniod alien, but he isn't cute.
16-only the honerable bad guy and the mad scientist show up.
17- Yes to all, but largly for comidic effect. Okay they will suspect the evil guy.
18- No, the main charecter is fairly talketive.
19- Well not a sword per say... but yeah it's a close range bladed weapon.
20-Uh oh. Guilty.
21-HAH! Wrong! She's the one with the sword.
22-Damn. I wish I'd thaought of that sooner. I could have had someone use Tuna.
23-Nope. Single child.
24-Guilty
25-Only in one dungion...
26-Yeah, that is odd isn't it.
27-Hell no.
28-Sigh. Yes
29- Your not supposed to notice that...
30-Nope. Like Xenogears there will be a jump feature.
31-Yes.
32-Yep. Being merciful sucks don't it?
33-No the villians will try to kill you. And none of that You have 5 minutes before the fortress collapses, you'll never make it garbage.
34-Well they can teleport. And I think I will have them grab the relic.
35-Guilty.
36-No, we stop it. We stop it good.
37-Maybe. Not planing on it right now.
38-It happens. Sorry.
39-Hey it's just a game. So yes, guilty.
40-No crystals or tailismens. Just a lot of buttkicking.
41-I'll try to aviod that.
42-Yeah, that sounds about right.
43-No, their really isn't anywhere like that.
44-Lot's of advanced tech. All the cast members get their own giant robots.
45-I want to give the cast a globe.
46-Not all of them...
47-Nope.
48-Again no.
49-Actually I don't even use an evil empire.
50-Actually I plan on having them use the internet.
51-Reply Hazy. Try again later.
52-Yep, Guilty.
53-I guess so.
54-As I said before. Everybody has a giant robot. I love giant robots.
55-Guilty.
56-Probalby will happen.
57-Havn't worked out shop mechanics.
58-Do you want to have to try and figure out exchange rates?
59-No, actually they'll have a lot of support. At least one whole country.
60-Havn't really thought of that yet.
61-Two stooges. Three attractive competent women, one of whom will join the party.
62-No this is the first time for the evil, and we will kick it's ass. Maybe in the sequal.
63-No, nothing like that.
64-I'll see if I can avoid that.
65-Oh am I ever guilty of that...
66-Only for the main charecters base of operations....
67-No, I was'nt planning on it.
68-Well of course. Otherwise wheres the fun.
69-Uh, Guilty
70-Damn Straight.
71-Oops... Guilty.
72-Yeah, guilty again.
73-You know, I think I will give those cocky NPC's a hard time.
74-Yep. Faster girl thingycat, KILL KILL KILL.
75-not planed yet...
76-Actually I want to throw in a hidden boss who can only be killed by that stuff.
77-Not hardly.
78-I hope not.
79-Actually you'll only see the dragons for summouns. Everything else will randomly try to eat you.
80-No friendly fire.
81-Just like in real life.
82-Wasn't planning on it... Actually I want to see the charecter kick the door down for once.
83-Again, just like in real life.
84-probably.
85-Actually I want have a lot of "solved by charecters blowing up the damn door." puzzles.
86-yep. sorry.
87-probalby.
88-I'll try to aviod that. At the very least everything will be clapper run.
89-No, no gods involved really.
90-Probably not.
91-And that is why we sleep in a fortress.
92-Yeah, sorry.
93- I'll try to aviod that.
94-No, once an event opens you can go right to it. But don't cry to me if your about 10 levels too low.
95-I'll try to aviod that. See those gian robots will come in handy.
96-Yeah their NRA.
97-Out of 9 charecters, 4 are female, and one is an alien who our concepts of gender do not aply to.
98-Guilty.
99-Guilty, take two.
100-Actually, I'm guilty again.
101-Probably will turn out to be guilty.
102-yes.
103-That will happen.
104-not this time. In fact I don't even have any ninjas planned.
105-Hmmmnnn.... Probably.
106-Not this time.
107-No talking trees. Foliage keeps it's mouth shut.
108-Optinal. It's the main charecters hobby.
109-I'll try to avoid that.
110-And then who would spout random warnings about the 3rd floor broom closet?
111-Other than steering and brakes, Guilty.
112-No, modern machinery will work fine.
113-No I didn't plan on any cross dressing.
114-With proper planning that could be avoided. Oh and the Inn's will have more than one room.
115-Maybe
116- In my world you can just try the store.
117-What diplomicy?
118-Guilty
119-Hadn't thaought of that.
120-Guilty
121-Guilty
122-Their Just dead of old age.
123-Yes
124-Yes on so many levels.
125-not really
126-Nobody in the party turns evil.
127-See above
128-No I plan on having alternate outfits.
129-Well maybe not skimpy...
130-The female one yes. No hats for the guys. Think I should give the miniskirts though?
I'll do the rest tommorow. I've been at this for an hour. Next time I should probably check to see how long the list is first. Anybody who wants to read the first few parts of My concept, Fearless Angels, just ask. But you robot haters be warned, I has Giant Robots.

[Ghostgodzilla]

Picking Up where I left off...
A correction. I realized I miscounted. 4 of the playable charecters are female, out of 9 total.

131-Don't have anything like that planned.
132-ditto.
133-Yeah, probably.
134-Nope.
135-No retirments or killings. And the New charecter would be unique.
136-No, some will hinder you.
137-Wasn't planning on that.
138-Wasn't planning on having a Mcguffin like that.
139-You think I should put one in? Personnally I always found Trapazoids more frightning.
140-Probably.
141-I should probably try to avoid that.
142-The contracters insist, as a safty mesure.
143-Note to self. Have someone get better from falling. Course about a third of the cast can fly.
144-Lots of nice space age materials. And some sentiant energy.
145-Nope.
146-Oh damn... I definatly did this one.
147-I plan on it being four.
148-No. Except for one early part, she'll generally not be an idiot like that.
149-Nope. See above.
150-Again, everybody is in the party for the final battle. And how I hated that.
151-Male lead. So is that a yes?
152-No temps.
153-Actually something like that will happen. And they do use the spell for this...
154-Maybe..
155-No this evil is new.
156-Just like in real life.
157-Sorta.
158-Not sure. May or May not happen.
159-A few.
160-Like I said we have a queen in the party. And no she is not deposed.
161-Yes.
162-Does it count if the villian is always effectual?
163-Guilty.
164-First part yes, second part no.
165-Check back later.
166-Not sure
167-again not sure.
168-Not at all.
169-True.
170-No. Just no.
171-Guilty.
172-Nope
173-Nope. Plot required.
174-Damn it, It's just a game mechanic!
175-Or kicked down.
176-Not sure.
177-Actually I wasn't planning on any late game abductions.
178-Most likly yes.
179-Yes, but the plan is just to hit the villian a lot.
180-At most 2 tenths.
181-Not sure. Wait and see.
182-Most likly.
183-Ummm....
184-Maybe not right outside.
185-Not really sure.
186-Yes.
187-Yes. Admit it. You'd be disappointed if that didn't happen.
188-Nope. The only angelic stuff will be from the heros.
189-What if he's ugly? And a lot of the problems still exist?
190-Hey it's just a game.
191-No, if I say ultimate, then I mean ultimate.
192-Nope. But hopefully fangirls with money will.

Finally Done! Finally! Mwuahahaha!!! Next time I really should check how long the list is first. If anyone is intersted in reading my Idea, Fearless Angels, then send me a PM or and email to [e-mail]. Kay, bye. My fingers hurt.

[Ghostgodzilla]

Oops I almost forgot. The list doesn't have my favorate clice in RPGs.

The Oh No, This Is Terrible, Why Doesn't Somebody Do Something Rule.
If a villian appears to steal something, or perfrom an abduction, the charecters do nothing but stand their and let him. If someone does try something, and weak spell that would normally have almost no effect on them will knock them out. Any expert marksmen will suddenly be unable to hit the broadside of a barn.

[Dessa]

Actually, I think that's sorta covered by a few other rules. The Grahf Rule (Heads I Win, Tails You Lose, #35) covers the "what the bad guy wants to happen will happen" part of it (they get the person/item), the Way to Go, Serge rule covers the "you got the item for the bad guy" part of it, and the "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb" rule covers the "good guys are idiots who will stand around while the bad guy takes the stuff/person" part.