The Trouble Is

[kfttjdb]

Are you serious?

Wait, that didn't come out right... What I mean is, I just didn't expect a review that great. Thank you very much. *hopes Kuroi's not blowing smoke up her butt*

Since you liked that one I do hope you read my next fic. It's 4 chapters long and will be posted on ff.net.

Wow. Thanks again, Kuroi. I'm just very pleased that you liked it. It makes me feel accomplished as a writer. Maybe I'm not so bad at it after all...

Now the rest of you are not off the hook. I want to hear ALL of the reviews- good and bad....

[Secretofmana]

Heh, great ending Renna-sama! Like Kuroi says, you have emotion down pat! *lazily thumbs up*

And while the ending was a bit shocking in a bad way...the chapter was great. The ending, was well written, but...*hit by urge to write*

well...

then again...

It was way better than something like this:

Chapter 17: The arrival of Ren's 32nd plane : D


A man, sitting in the airport....

Light coming in alumminated one half of him....

Shade covered the other...

He sat there, staring at his lap intently, where his hands rested gently. Resting next to him was his suitcase made of metal.

And then...

His hands weren't resting, and he wasn't sitting down anymore!!

His hands were meshed together, twitching, cracking!!

And he was pacing around quickly around the rather uncomfortable couch, a mark still laying where he once sat!!

Billy the little kid saw this, and he knew what he had to do. He would have a role in this story...It was his destiny to talk to the man with the badass hair style!!

Billy got up slowly, and approached the rather tall guy. He looked up at him, and gulped.

"Hello." He said plainly. The man stopped pacing, turned around slowly, blinked, then looked down.

"....Hi?" Ren blinked again, confused as he replied.

Billy continued to stare at the top of the mans head blankly. A glob of snot ran down from his nose. o;o

"....I want that hairstyle...." Billy muttered in awe. The man stared impatiently.

"Look, kid, I put hours of work in to this hairstyle of mine. AND TRADEMARKED IT. You do not want it. ><;"

Billy sniffled, his eyes forming tears. He ran back to the random spot from which he came.

Ren sighed, then sat down again. Yoh sat on the other side of the couch, sleeping silently. Ren looked at him, smiled gently, then relaxed back on the couch.

"Flight 591 arriving now..." A loud voice announced on the PDA at the top of the airport in a monotone voice. Ren raised an eyebrow.

"Finally..." He muttered, getting up and streching, before walking over slowly to where all the airplanes arrived. It was at that moment when he noticed that he was hearing a loud noise growing louder, which meant it was...

"Approaching...this exact spot...what the..."

Yukihiro arrived at the airport exactly five minutes later. Ren has been hit by the airplane itself, which had been flown by the Tao family's most inexperienced pilot. The force was so strong, he had been sent flying all the way around the world, landing in China. He survived. : D;

Yukihiro smirked, tears forming in her eyes. "Good old Ren...;-;" Her hair ran over her face, covering her eyes and mouth completely. "But...I...Just wanted to see him...one last time....T_T"

THE END


*shot 500 times for rambling on* : D;

Anyways, you improved a whole lot throughout the duration of that story! I look forward to reading the short next one!

[Sayoky]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cries madly* WHY??? IT"S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!! WHYYYY??? THIS IS THE SADDEST PART THIS STORY HAS EVER HAD!!!!! I THAUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE HAPPY ENDING.......IT WA SAAAAAD.....

[kfttjdb]

Well firstly: *Ren promptly beats SOM in the head with the blunt side of his kwan do*

Thank you for your comments, SOM. You couldn't resist, could you?

And Sayoky, I'm sorry you thought it was sad. But I DID warn you...

Keep the reviews coming people. This thing has been viewed 800 times, surely it's been read at least a few of those times. *bricked*

[Sayoky]

well...since this is the end of your story...you must promise you will make another one just as exciting as this......This is between us *looks around so nobody can see us*: have you ever thaught of becoming a writer?

[kfttjdb]

"Actually, Sayoky, I did want to be a writer back when I was young and stupid," Renna J said, as if she's 80 years old.

No but seriously, I did in middle school. However, the things I wrote were very dark and not very appropriate for the general public. (I had issues) There was always violence, and there was always blood. I didn't share anything I wrote because I didn't want to have to talk to the school counselor more than the usual visits. (but that's a different story and I've digressed...)

Soooo, The Trouble Is technically is my first story. It's my first fanfiction, anyway. The fiction I used to write was not based on any shows. Just whatever popped in my head. And they were much longer than this...So you all should thank me for not putting you through that madness...I mean the one my sister found that I forgot to lock up was 42 chapters long...(digressing again, sorry)

Blah, blah, blah. I answered your question eons ago so I'll stop now. Um, any more reviews?

[Secretofmana]

*Ren promptly beats SOM in the head with the blunt side of his kwan do*

Ow. ;-;

Hum, I, guess I offended with my mini-thing, huh? Sorry, I seriously didn't mean to. *bows*

[kfttjdb]

No, SOM. Renna J was not offended at all. Ren may have been...

[KuroiInu]

Ren may have been, but Kuroi wasn't sure. It was some nice relief after the sad ending. ^^' The whole Ren getting hit by a jet thing was a bit upsetting. *bandages Ren before hugging him*

[wannabeeliza]

Wow. Just Wow its one of the best fan fictions I have ever read. You stayed with proper English and you didnt fallowe a prediturmined plot line that is SO predictable. You stayed your own track and thats what makes it cool.

[kfttjdb]

Thank you, Wannabeeliza. I was expecting something a bit more harsh.

Wow, I'm very pleased you all liked this story. I do apologize it went so long. If you're interested, the second fic I started has been posted on my ff.net account. (and I came up with a title *victory dance*) Um, SOM, don't read this one... I don't think you'll like it.

[Setsumi-san]

I read this yesterday and want to say I truly enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting you to write a sad ending, but I applaud you for doing that because it's a refreshing change of pace from most romances. You manged to create a likeable and well rounded original character, which is very hard for most people to do.

Now, here's some constructive criticism: Yoh seems to be acting like a cold fish to Ren. He'd be a lot more sympathetic when giving advice to a friend. Also, does Pillica really love Lyserg, or did she just say I love you too out of fear? I ask this because she thought,What have I done? a while back.

Overall, you did an excellent job for your first fanfic. Just remember to stay true to the character's personalities. I look forward to more stuff from you in the future.