Post by wannabeeliza on Sept 17, 2005 23:39:36 GMT -5
--
It was a day like any other day... the moon was full and bright in the sky and...Oh wait, that was the night before my bad...
Anyway... Hao wanted to have a BBQ why? The spirit of fire was making him that’s why! The spirit of fire thought Hao needed positive socialization with his peers so a BBQ would bring out the best of Hao’s peers! But as we all know Hao doesn’t have a place to have a BBQ so he crashed in on Yoh’s place (because brothers should share! ^.^)
Anna wasn’t happy and some things happened (ok so Hao ran screaming out of his room and Anna came out after him cursing something about weak enchanted piano wire but that MIGHT be unrelated) but she found peace and started to look forward to the BBQ after a while.
On the day of the BBQ anyone and everyone you could imagine decided to show up.
--
*and now more in depth*
Opacho was looking for Hao. The two had lost each other in the crowd that was composed of people he had never seen before. As Opacho walked pass the juice bowl (not really noticing that it was mostly orange juice) table he happened to notice and man sitting at one of the sitting tables. He was tall and very sad looking with sandy (ish) blonde hair and he was staring blankly at a point in the distance. Opacho decided to keep this man company. So he walked over to the man and sat beside him.
“Are you lonely?” Opacho quietly asked
The man did not answer in fact he scooted down the bench a little. Opacho scooted next to the man again...and the man kept moving down the bench it soon became a game for Opacho... until the man fell off the bench and stood up and glared at Opacho angrily.
“Are you angry at me?”
The man responded by picking Opacho up by the hair and threw him across the way and into...
--
Anna had set up a medium sized inflatable pool in an area set aside for activities. She had put on her bathing suite and was lounging inside the pool (inside of a inner tube) she decided to get her tan up so she got on her sun glasses and a glass of lemonade and started to mine her own business...until and very small, blunt object landed on her and sent her tumbling down into the pool....
Sence this was a BBQ and everyone was doing there own thing not too many saw the blunt Opacho shaped object sink Anna in the pool. But a good number of people heard her scream in rage and the SPLOOSH as Opacho was thrown back into the pool...
But back with the man that threw Opacho...
--
The man called Faust sat back on the bench and took another drink of his...drink... (
) but he stopped after he thought he saw a pink elephant start flying around a dark figures head... then in a loud voice he asked “Did someone spike the punch?” (Then proceeded to pass out.) At this time Ryu ducked behind a tree hoping no one would find him...
--
The elephant wasn’t really above Hao’s head but then again he wouldn’t have noticed he was VERY grouchy about having to have the BBQ and even more about being the one stuck with most of the cooking. Hao moved the hat on his head further back on head in hopes of making it fall off ‘accidentally’ (Anna had made him wear it along with the pink apron he was wearing that said ‘kiss the pyro’) Hao poked the burger on the grill in front of him with a nonchalant attitude..
“Anna is eviler than I am”
“I wouldn’t let her hear that...”
“What is it Yoh?” Hao smiled at his twin brother
“I come bringing the gift of potato salad!” Yoh brandished the bowl with his usual glee
“Halleluiah...” note the sarcasm in his attitude
“I KNOW isn’t it so much better now that the POTATO SALAD IS HERE!”
What happened next can only be considered a mobbing... it was something out of a horror movie. Yoh never stood a chance as most of Hao’s friends and team mates jumped on him (in true secret service fashion) screaming ‘we love potato salad!’ when the dust cleared Hao could see that Yoh’s precious potato salad had been eaten, the bowl was left on Yoh’s head and it looked as if Yoh was in pain.
Hao walked up to his brother and poked him with the spatula when Yoh didn’t move Hao muttered “he’s well done” then went back to the grilling station.
--
When Silva heard that Hao was having a BBQ and that Hao said that he shouldn’t come he decided to go anyway... only disguised as the spirit of fire... badly disguised might I add.
The painted bucket wouldn’t stay on his head right and the robe was too baggy so he kept falling down (which was REALLY funny when he had to walk down those stairs near the bus stop...)
When Silva finally did arrive everyone stared... and got tense when Silva walked into the real spirit of fire...
“Why hello there” said Silva while also trying to mimic a raspy voice
The spirit of fire said nothing rather; he took to flicking Silva like a dust bunny 300 miles in the air then he landed in...
--
Anna had relaxed after the Opacho incident and both of them decided to chill in the pool in inner tubes... but then just when Anna was about to take a sip of her drink a very unidentifiable object landed on her....again...
Now Anna never thought of her the time to get angry.... at anyone but when the unidentified object turned out to be Silva sneaking into the party dressed stupidly as the spirit of fire she lost it... and I mean REALLY lost it... Silva never stood a chance it was then between Anna giving him a black eye and breaking a rib that Yoh came from the kitchen, after coming too, with more salad this time... CHICKEN!
“Oh...I love chicken salad” Anna then let go of the bloody Silva and walked over to Yoh and took the bowl and went over and sat next to the still passed out Faust and began eating the chicken salad...
Anna took the bowel over with her to get a drink and back to her seat she set the drink down after finishing half of it and went back to eating the chicken salad....
*close up on the glass*
There was a faint thump and the drink *splashed*
It was half way through the second distant thump that the previously passed out Faust re-gained consciousness. Anna noticed right away and with so chicken in her mouth said
“Oh you’re awake...”
“-.o what happened? *notices salad* oh chicken salad! I love chicken salad! =D”
“Too bad you aren’t getting any”
“WHAT! Wh-”
Just as Faust was about to fight for the chicken salad the Spirit of Fires hand lands directly on the table then knocks them both away.
Both, Anna and Faust were thrown a few yards away. And were outraged that the spirit of fire would do such a thing...
“WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?”
The Spirit of Fire did not answer instead he tore the chicken salad away from Anna...who lands on top of Faust. (Let’s just say Anna holds on to things even those being picked up to the height of 3 stories) Anna wobbled to her feet and Faust soon joined her...
“NO ONE STEALS THE CHICKEN SALAD!!” was their battle cry at Anna busted out her secret ninja ‘jumping up tall things’ skills and Faust decided to raise Mephistopheles E
Anna then started to bit the spirit of fire as Eliza began to punch him (ok so with those things on her arms it was more like stabbing him)
--
All the people below took notice of the fighting...
“Ok so Marco you bet 50 smakers on Anna and Faust?”
“Yes Tamao”
“Good man, good man...*Counts money* NEXT”
“I want to bet 100 dollars on the Spirit of Fire”
“Sure thing Hao...”
Tamao was wearing her usual attire only with a cigar and a visor on. She quickly scribbled the new bets down in her sketch book.
“Can we bet that they’ll both K O?”
“No Manta you can’t...”
--
*back to the battle*
Eliza stopped going for the face and head south...
Anna was working the hand that had the chicken salad bowel kicking and mostly biting...
And at the time Anna bit the Spirit of Fire’s thumb Eliza stabbed the one area on a man that is perfect to take him down...
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!! FINE TAKE IT *wheeze* IT’S NOT WORTH IT *wheeze*”
The Spirit of fire drops the bowel and Anna jumps off.
Eliza goes back to normal and Faust catches the bowel.
“AND WE HAVE OUR WINNAS!! ANNA AND THE FAUST’S IN A UP ROAR!”
Tamao was now working the megaphone...while Marco started jumping up and down in a completely girly fashion in the back ground waving his bet receipt around...until...
--
Marco found out that day that a person as small as Manta can REALLY do some damage to your eyes and shin.... Manta started out with his mallet going for Marco’s head...
Once he was down to the floor he started kicking in his eyes and legs then he used his book to hit Marco’s ribs when Manta was done he picked up the bet receipt...
“Eat that b*tch...”
Marco was bleeding on the ground as Manta walked happily over to Tamao for his money...
--
Anyway back to the chicken salad defenders™...
Anna and Faust were happily eating Chicken Salad on a picnic blanket (Eliza was feeding Faust).
“We should team up again sometime...”
“...Faust...”
“What”
“Pass the OJ...”
--
HoroHoro and Kororo were hanging around the grill. Hao was cooking with the grill... Hao was angry and HoroHoro for hanging out around the grill but he continued his work anyway Hao placed 13 burger patties on the grill. A few minutes late he flipped and continued cooking... but when the Spirit of fire came running by crying about how picking on the fat guy wasn’t nice he looked away from the grill....
When he looked back all the burgers were gone and HoroHoro’s mouth was full to the rim.
“There burning like the fires of heck aren’t they?”
“Yes.....*munch* but it’s worth it....*watery eyes*”
--
Kororo decides to get out of there before she and HoroHoro were placed on the grill...
Morphine lost Lyserg again... 5th time in the last past hour she thought this time was because of the bloody and bruised Marco that was lying on the ground and she just didn’t notice he wondered off.... she flew straight into Kororo....ok so she head butted the other spirit so hard she landed in the juice bowel. Morphine flew down to help Kororo but...
“B*TCH WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?”
“What?”
“You heard me what is your problem!?” *insert Kororo whacking Morphine in the face with her leaf*
“Oh no b*tch did not just do that!”
They both glare at each other then Morphine kicks Kororo in the face and she lands back in the bowel....
“*cough* *hack* oh your going to pay! This dress is DRY CLEAN ONLY!!”
Kororo grabbed Morphine’s goggles and pulled them back and let them go so they went *SMAK* in Morphine’s face. Morphine countered with a round house kick, then Kororo slapped and then Morphine head butted then- Manta came up and miss took them for REALLY big bugs and sprayed them with bug-be-gone
They both started to choke and then collapsed into the bowel...
Lyserg had helped Marco to Kanna’s first aid tent. And he was thirsty so he went of to the bunch bowel. He got a cup and stopped when he saw Kororo fly out of it and land in his cup...he looked down into the bowel and saw Morphine rise to the surface with a black eye and a torn wing....
“Uhm....”
Morphine said nothing just got out of the bowel and sat down and started to wring out her bangs...
“Morphine?”
“You should see the other girl...”
Lyserg looked down and saw Kororo but she had a broken arm torn out hair and a black eye.
“What happened?”
“B*tch snapped my goggles... NO ONE snaps my goggles ...you KNOW that REMEMBER?”
Morphine was glaring at Lyserg and he started to shake in fear...
“Y-yes....”
--
Jun had no idea who some of the people were but the people she did know had grown up so much sence she last saw them...
“MANTA YOU ARE SOOO BIG NOW ARNT YOU!!??”
“JUN!”
“Yes?”
‘Please let go of my checks”
“Oh *lets go* sorry your just such a big boy I couldn’t help myself!!”
Manta walks away then Jun spots Hao at the grill and she walks right up to him and gets a good look at him, then gets in his face...
“...Jun was it?...”
Jun blinks two times....
“Uhm...”
“...YOUVEGROWN SOOO MUCH” Jun hugs Hao into her chest.
“HHMHFHFHFMF!”
Jun looks down a realizes what she’s doing then let’s go...
“What was that?”
“I said ‘let me go’”
“Oh...”
Jun then spots Faust....
--
Faust and Anna had finished off the Chicken Salad and were now sipping on orange juice and relaxing on the blanket... They didn’t notice the glint in Jun’s eye as she ran up to them and then pure joy on her face when she jumped at Faust...
Faust looked around at the last second and he’s eyes bugged out and he ducked and Jun flew into Anna...
“OH YOU’VE GOTTEN SOOOO OLD FAUST!!”
Jun was hugging Anna like she would have Faust and Anna’s eye was twitching
While Faust took that old comment the wrong way and started to cry in the corner with Eliza comforting him.
“So how is that nice old decaying dead wife of yours!?”
Then Eliza leaned into Faust and started to cry with him.
“Still quite as always hu? Good for you!”
Jun then lets go after seeing Ryu...
--
Manta was trying to get away from Opacho. The person man thingy had been fallowing him around for the past half hour. Some people had left and (well they walked out but Silva had tripped one too many times and couldn’t get up and had in fact said “help, help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up...” but no one paid attention and walked on him) some people stayed but on both accounts they had stuffed them selves on Hao’s surprisingly delicious burgers and salads of all types. (Ok so for the salads the overly predictable mortal combat like battles took place) anyway Opacho had spotted Manta oh his rounds and continued to fallow him around...
“What are you doing!?”
“Fallowing the master...”
Manta anime fell
“What do you MEAN master!?”
“My people depict our god as a short man that has spasms problems I am now 100% sure that you are his reincarnation!”
“I am not!!”
“ARE TOO!!”
“ARE NOT”
“LIER LIER PANTS ON FIRE!!”
Manta looks down to see that Hao had set his pants on fire during the fight probably because Hao doesn’t want Opacho fighting with anyone...
“AIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
--
Ren had no idea why he even came; he knew he’d never be able to live this down.
“What kind of man brings his home made pies to his enemies Barbeque?”
He kept walked along with his basket full of pies that he had hand made for this event...
--
Ryu (after getting away from Jun) was wondering aimlessly through the BBQ grounds, when he weft the pies.... the wonderful smelling pies that made his mouth water...he started to look around frantically for the source and saw that Ren had a picnic basket (and that he was wearing a red cloak around his normal outfit)
“Ren must have pies! I must get that pickynic basket,” then added “Right boo-boo?”
Then Bo-Bo from that hold cartoon about Yogi and Yellowstone national park started to talk “That’s right Ryu”
--
Ren didn’t think anyone noticed his basket but then he heard the foot steps and turned around to see...
Yoh
“Hey Ren you’re a little late but lucky for you a lot of people are staying for the fire works...”
“....”
“Hey what do you have there!?”
Yoh pointed at Ren’s basket.
“..Pie’s...”
“Oh really? Cool put them on that table next to what’s left of the salad bowels...”
“Fine....” Ren walks over to the other wise disserted picnic table and places down the basket. He started to place out the pies when a shadow came looming over him and he turned around to see Ryu...looking at him...hungrily...
Ren started to mutter “My what a big fork you have there Ryu”
“The better to hold pie crust my friend”
“My what a nice bib you have there”
“All the better to keep my shirt clean my friend”
“My what-” Ren was interrupted by Ryu pushing him aside
“Listen kid I don’t have all day I want pie!” Ryu yelled angrily
So Ryu went in for the pie BUT Ren stuck out his foot and Ryu tripped on it and his face landed in the pie.
“Silly Ryu, pies aren’t for you!”
--
Kanna had taken good care of Marco which was a surprise to both of them because of the on going “I'm going to kill you” atmosphere they had before the BBQ. She walked past the examination table that Kororo was laid on and gave her one lore look over before giving the newly wrapped up koropokkur to her Ainu care giver.
“Remember to check the bandages on her arm in a couple of days and that that mouth ointment should keep the burns in your mouth down. Seriously HoroHoro what the heck were you thinking *takes a drag of cigarette* “
HoroHoro’s response was rather altered by the cotton balls in his mouth so Kanna just pushed him out the tent and went back to Marco.
“Just because you helped me with my almost fatal wounds that were given to me by that midget man doesn’t change the fact that you’re a filthy sinner!”
“Say don’t spray it...” She starts to push him out of the tent.
“What are you doing!!??”
“Your WAY too stressed! You need a walk...”
“I am NOT a dog!”
“YES you are...I know you are...the kinky man that you are...”
“HOW YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THOSE VI-“Marco slapped his mouth shut
“Rainbow video’s man....they have all sorts of stuff...”
“I thought I had destroyed all those copies!”
“Obviously not...”
“...”
“Is it really that big?”
“JUST PUSH ME YOU SINNER!!”
Kanna spent the rest of the BBQ pushing Marco around and even got to have fun when she pushed him down the hill.
--
Morphine and Lyserg had tried to stay out of trouble and after that whole ‘kicking Kororo’s butt’ thing they had to try extra hard...but trouble found them...
“YO British dork! What’cha doing with my women!?”
Lyserg turned around and was very surprised to see Manta standing there...in a PIMP suite.
“Excuse me Manta?
“Dude there is no excuse, I told her not to hang out with trash like you any more!”
“I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! I don’t have to be a spy for your family ANYMORE!”
“Oh please,” Manta steps forward “I know you love the thrill, dodging bullets and dogs fitting into pockets and holes for secrets”
“Like the one about you still wetting the bed?
Manta said nothing he was embarrassed
“Or how about the one were I catch you looking at Eliza in a very impure manure!?”
“OR how about the one were I see you try to kick Yoh in the butt every time his back is turned!??”
“OK OK! YOU WIN this time but you belong to the Oymada’s you know that!”
Manta then throws a smoke bomb and disappears.
“Uhm Morphine?”
“Yes?”
“I’m confused! ;___;”
“Good, now take me to the pie I smell!”
Morphine kicks Lyserg in the shoulder he was carrying her on.
“You’re so mean to me”
“Oh WAA” morphine rolls her eyes.
--
Manta had run away to hide near the forest and lost the PIMP suite.
“Geeze I hope no one heard what that traitor said...” it was then Manta felt some one tap on his shoulder.
He turned around slowly and saw Faust standing there...
“O__O”
“What’s this about you looking at MY WIFE!!?” Faust’s eye was twitching again....
--
Ren and Yoh sat at the picnic table with the pies and were in the middle of an important discussion...
“I say phantom menace sucked more”
“NO attack of THE CLONES SUCKED MORE!!”
Then they heard “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“Must be that bed wetter Manta....”
“Hmmm......clones sucked MORE!”
“DID NOT!”
“DID TOO!!”
--
Manta was never heard from again.
--
Those who hadn’t already left had gathered for the promised fire works some sat on the grass or at the table while people like Marco had there ‘nurses’ stand with them. HoroHoro stood off to the side of the fire works group holding the poor beaten Kororo in his arms while Lyserg and Morphine were In the middle of talking near HoroHoro...
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO SNAP MY GOOGLES!!”
“HAVE MERCY PLEASE!!”
What happened next wasn’t pretty but only lasted two min. after words he was dazed on the ground blinking up at the twilight sky...
“Ok time for fire works! ^__^” Hao said happily this was what he was looking forward too all day...
“But HAO there ILLEGAL!” yelled Yoh...which woke up Lyserg...
With a blank look Hao responded with “most fun things are...” and he lights a match only to be tackled by Lyserg....
“NO-FIRE-WORKS!!” Lyserg somehow got a hold of Faust’s Ax thing and was threatening Hao with it and Hao was about to respond but...
“MY HAIR!!! AHHHH!!!” The match had been thrown from Hao to HoroHoro’s hair... which apparently was REALLY flammable... he dropped Kororo and had, in the chaos, stepped on her.
HoroHoro kept running around so much that the Spirit of Fire (who had gotten over his ‘incident’ with the chicken salad defenders™) picked him up and tossed him into the...
~~
Anna figured with everyone busy with the fire works she could get her last chance to relax in the poor, she didn’t care that the water was now freezing cold she wanted to have fun floating on the water!
Anna had gotten on to the inner tube and floated out to the center of it...when she spotted something red coming toward the earth and she thought it was a comet so she kept staring until
SPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
....lets just say that HoroHoro was bald for a LONG time....and probably couldn’t have kids...
~~
Back to the fire works...Hao was pinned to the ground by Lyserg (who sported a black eye from Morphine) with Faust’s ax thingy (which had an unusual amount of blood on it because Lyserg hadn’t done anything...) Yoh was in shock in the back ground and everyone was just waiting for the fire works.
“Hey spirit of fire?”
The spirit looked down at Chocolove who had, had his own series of adventure that day but wasn’t worth mentioning for an important reason...I just don’t know it is...
“Why don’t you just light the fire works?”
Everyone who was waiting looked expectedly at the spirit and then...
“OH why me? Why not on of the other spirits is it just because it’s in my name isn’t it? Well you know hwy you guys can just jerk off!”
The spirit of fire than ran away from the BBQ not waiting for anyone to react.
“I only suggested it because he was closest...” Choclove then shrugged and got Ren to light them.
“GUYS!! I JUST got through tackling Hao for that!!”
“So we want fire works!”
“Ok...”
Lyserg gets off of Hao and then drops the ax thingy and walks over the group.
--
The fire works then went off without a hitch...ok OK other than the hitch that involved Lyserg duck tapping Morphine on a rocket... but other than that no hitches!
When everyone started to go home and take there things with them Anna, Hao, and Yoh watched them leave from the porch.
“Hey is that Kanna and Marco leaving together?”
“Yes Yoh but it’s not like they have a choice.... Marco doesn’t have health insurance....”
“Oh”
Jun was caring the sleeping Ren in her arms out the gate when she noticed the basket was gone... and then notice in on Ryu’s head....or rather the basket was jammed onto Ryu’s head in a fit or rage and it was stuck.
Morphine (who was EXTRA crispy) was sleeping in the nap of Lysergs neck as they left. They had gotten there usual relationship tension out that day... Opacho had left on his own after spotting Silva as the spirit of fire and being stupid enough to think he was the real spirit of fire. And Faust had found more chicken salad in the fridge and was eating it on the blanket....even though it was dark out and Eliza was near him flattening the dirt mound that had been needed...>.>
HoroHoro ad Kororo never came back to that place. HoroHoro would eventually never be able to taste again and Kororo well she ended up being able to beat Morphine but only after years of ‘Rocky I’ training.
“Well that was a really nice BBQ” Yoh said excitedly
“It was?” Anna asked back.
“YEP I’ve got black mail for the next year on everyone!” he then laughed evilly and said “I’m going to change into my footsey pajamas now...good night”
“Night Yoh...remember to leave the light on”
“I know Anna I know how you get about the dark...”
“Thank you”
Anna then turned to Hao who was tired. Spirit less, and sun burnt.
“We should do this more often”
Hao fell to the ground in pain.
------
A/n: ok a comedy Shaman King Fan Fiction fallowing the ideas of some random posts on the Shaman King uncensored boards dudes it rocks and the folks over there are AWSOME...if not a bit quirky.... they inspired this so credit goes to them. I don’t call that ‘bashing’ I call that comedy hate. I hope it got a few laughs out of you by the end there I was rung low on puns, metaphors and jokes...=/ I hate it when that happens...
--
yah sorry to dissapoint T-T
It was a day like any other day... the moon was full and bright in the sky and...Oh wait, that was the night before my bad...
Anyway... Hao wanted to have a BBQ why? The spirit of fire was making him that’s why! The spirit of fire thought Hao needed positive socialization with his peers so a BBQ would bring out the best of Hao’s peers! But as we all know Hao doesn’t have a place to have a BBQ so he crashed in on Yoh’s place (because brothers should share! ^.^)
Anna wasn’t happy and some things happened (ok so Hao ran screaming out of his room and Anna came out after him cursing something about weak enchanted piano wire but that MIGHT be unrelated) but she found peace and started to look forward to the BBQ after a while.
On the day of the BBQ anyone and everyone you could imagine decided to show up.
--
*and now more in depth*
Opacho was looking for Hao. The two had lost each other in the crowd that was composed of people he had never seen before. As Opacho walked pass the juice bowl (not really noticing that it was mostly orange juice) table he happened to notice and man sitting at one of the sitting tables. He was tall and very sad looking with sandy (ish) blonde hair and he was staring blankly at a point in the distance. Opacho decided to keep this man company. So he walked over to the man and sat beside him.
“Are you lonely?” Opacho quietly asked
The man did not answer in fact he scooted down the bench a little. Opacho scooted next to the man again...and the man kept moving down the bench it soon became a game for Opacho... until the man fell off the bench and stood up and glared at Opacho angrily.
“Are you angry at me?”
The man responded by picking Opacho up by the hair and threw him across the way and into...
--
Anna had set up a medium sized inflatable pool in an area set aside for activities. She had put on her bathing suite and was lounging inside the pool (inside of a inner tube) she decided to get her tan up so she got on her sun glasses and a glass of lemonade and started to mine her own business...until and very small, blunt object landed on her and sent her tumbling down into the pool....
Sence this was a BBQ and everyone was doing there own thing not too many saw the blunt Opacho shaped object sink Anna in the pool. But a good number of people heard her scream in rage and the SPLOOSH as Opacho was thrown back into the pool...
But back with the man that threw Opacho...
--
The man called Faust sat back on the bench and took another drink of his...drink... (
) but he stopped after he thought he saw a pink elephant start flying around a dark figures head... then in a loud voice he asked “Did someone spike the punch?” (Then proceeded to pass out.) At this time Ryu ducked behind a tree hoping no one would find him... --
The elephant wasn’t really above Hao’s head but then again he wouldn’t have noticed he was VERY grouchy about having to have the BBQ and even more about being the one stuck with most of the cooking. Hao moved the hat on his head further back on head in hopes of making it fall off ‘accidentally’ (Anna had made him wear it along with the pink apron he was wearing that said ‘kiss the pyro’) Hao poked the burger on the grill in front of him with a nonchalant attitude..
“Anna is eviler than I am”
“I wouldn’t let her hear that...”
“What is it Yoh?” Hao smiled at his twin brother
“I come bringing the gift of potato salad!” Yoh brandished the bowl with his usual glee
“Halleluiah...” note the sarcasm in his attitude
“I KNOW isn’t it so much better now that the POTATO SALAD IS HERE!”
What happened next can only be considered a mobbing... it was something out of a horror movie. Yoh never stood a chance as most of Hao’s friends and team mates jumped on him (in true secret service fashion) screaming ‘we love potato salad!’ when the dust cleared Hao could see that Yoh’s precious potato salad had been eaten, the bowl was left on Yoh’s head and it looked as if Yoh was in pain.
Hao walked up to his brother and poked him with the spatula when Yoh didn’t move Hao muttered “he’s well done” then went back to the grilling station.
--
When Silva heard that Hao was having a BBQ and that Hao said that he shouldn’t come he decided to go anyway... only disguised as the spirit of fire... badly disguised might I add.
The painted bucket wouldn’t stay on his head right and the robe was too baggy so he kept falling down (which was REALLY funny when he had to walk down those stairs near the bus stop...)
When Silva finally did arrive everyone stared... and got tense when Silva walked into the real spirit of fire...
“Why hello there” said Silva while also trying to mimic a raspy voice
The spirit of fire said nothing rather; he took to flicking Silva like a dust bunny 300 miles in the air then he landed in...
--
Anna had relaxed after the Opacho incident and both of them decided to chill in the pool in inner tubes... but then just when Anna was about to take a sip of her drink a very unidentifiable object landed on her....again...
Now Anna never thought of her the time to get angry.... at anyone but when the unidentified object turned out to be Silva sneaking into the party dressed stupidly as the spirit of fire she lost it... and I mean REALLY lost it... Silva never stood a chance it was then between Anna giving him a black eye and breaking a rib that Yoh came from the kitchen, after coming too, with more salad this time... CHICKEN!
“Oh...I love chicken salad” Anna then let go of the bloody Silva and walked over to Yoh and took the bowl and went over and sat next to the still passed out Faust and began eating the chicken salad...
Anna took the bowel over with her to get a drink and back to her seat she set the drink down after finishing half of it and went back to eating the chicken salad....
*close up on the glass*
There was a faint thump and the drink *splashed*
It was half way through the second distant thump that the previously passed out Faust re-gained consciousness. Anna noticed right away and with so chicken in her mouth said
“Oh you’re awake...”
“-.o what happened? *notices salad* oh chicken salad! I love chicken salad! =D”
“Too bad you aren’t getting any”
“WHAT! Wh-”
Just as Faust was about to fight for the chicken salad the Spirit of Fires hand lands directly on the table then knocks them both away.
Both, Anna and Faust were thrown a few yards away. And were outraged that the spirit of fire would do such a thing...
“WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?”
The Spirit of Fire did not answer instead he tore the chicken salad away from Anna...who lands on top of Faust. (Let’s just say Anna holds on to things even those being picked up to the height of 3 stories) Anna wobbled to her feet and Faust soon joined her...
“NO ONE STEALS THE CHICKEN SALAD!!” was their battle cry at Anna busted out her secret ninja ‘jumping up tall things’ skills and Faust decided to raise Mephistopheles E
Anna then started to bit the spirit of fire as Eliza began to punch him (ok so with those things on her arms it was more like stabbing him)
--
All the people below took notice of the fighting...
“Ok so Marco you bet 50 smakers on Anna and Faust?”
“Yes Tamao”
“Good man, good man...*Counts money* NEXT”
“I want to bet 100 dollars on the Spirit of Fire”
“Sure thing Hao...”
Tamao was wearing her usual attire only with a cigar and a visor on. She quickly scribbled the new bets down in her sketch book.
“Can we bet that they’ll both K O?”
“No Manta you can’t...”
--
*back to the battle*
Eliza stopped going for the face and head south...
Anna was working the hand that had the chicken salad bowel kicking and mostly biting...
And at the time Anna bit the Spirit of Fire’s thumb Eliza stabbed the one area on a man that is perfect to take him down...
“AHHHHHHHHH!!!! FINE TAKE IT *wheeze* IT’S NOT WORTH IT *wheeze*”
The Spirit of fire drops the bowel and Anna jumps off.
Eliza goes back to normal and Faust catches the bowel.
“AND WE HAVE OUR WINNAS!! ANNA AND THE FAUST’S IN A UP ROAR!”
Tamao was now working the megaphone...while Marco started jumping up and down in a completely girly fashion in the back ground waving his bet receipt around...until...
--
Marco found out that day that a person as small as Manta can REALLY do some damage to your eyes and shin.... Manta started out with his mallet going for Marco’s head...
Once he was down to the floor he started kicking in his eyes and legs then he used his book to hit Marco’s ribs when Manta was done he picked up the bet receipt...
“Eat that b*tch...”
Marco was bleeding on the ground as Manta walked happily over to Tamao for his money...
--
Anyway back to the chicken salad defenders™...
Anna and Faust were happily eating Chicken Salad on a picnic blanket (Eliza was feeding Faust).
“We should team up again sometime...”
“...Faust...”
“What”
“Pass the OJ...”
--
HoroHoro and Kororo were hanging around the grill. Hao was cooking with the grill... Hao was angry and HoroHoro for hanging out around the grill but he continued his work anyway Hao placed 13 burger patties on the grill. A few minutes late he flipped and continued cooking... but when the Spirit of fire came running by crying about how picking on the fat guy wasn’t nice he looked away from the grill....
When he looked back all the burgers were gone and HoroHoro’s mouth was full to the rim.
“There burning like the fires of heck aren’t they?”
“Yes.....*munch* but it’s worth it....*watery eyes*”
--
Kororo decides to get out of there before she and HoroHoro were placed on the grill...
Morphine lost Lyserg again... 5th time in the last past hour she thought this time was because of the bloody and bruised Marco that was lying on the ground and she just didn’t notice he wondered off.... she flew straight into Kororo....ok so she head butted the other spirit so hard she landed in the juice bowel. Morphine flew down to help Kororo but...
“B*TCH WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?”
“What?”
“You heard me what is your problem!?” *insert Kororo whacking Morphine in the face with her leaf*
“Oh no b*tch did not just do that!”
They both glare at each other then Morphine kicks Kororo in the face and she lands back in the bowel....
“*cough* *hack* oh your going to pay! This dress is DRY CLEAN ONLY!!”
Kororo grabbed Morphine’s goggles and pulled them back and let them go so they went *SMAK* in Morphine’s face. Morphine countered with a round house kick, then Kororo slapped and then Morphine head butted then- Manta came up and miss took them for REALLY big bugs and sprayed them with bug-be-gone
They both started to choke and then collapsed into the bowel...
Lyserg had helped Marco to Kanna’s first aid tent. And he was thirsty so he went of to the bunch bowel. He got a cup and stopped when he saw Kororo fly out of it and land in his cup...he looked down into the bowel and saw Morphine rise to the surface with a black eye and a torn wing....
“Uhm....”
Morphine said nothing just got out of the bowel and sat down and started to wring out her bangs...
“Morphine?”
“You should see the other girl...”
Lyserg looked down and saw Kororo but she had a broken arm torn out hair and a black eye.
“What happened?”
“B*tch snapped my goggles... NO ONE snaps my goggles ...you KNOW that REMEMBER?”
Morphine was glaring at Lyserg and he started to shake in fear...
“Y-yes....”
--
Jun had no idea who some of the people were but the people she did know had grown up so much sence she last saw them...
“MANTA YOU ARE SOOO BIG NOW ARNT YOU!!??”
“JUN!”
“Yes?”
‘Please let go of my checks”
“Oh *lets go* sorry your just such a big boy I couldn’t help myself!!”
Manta walks away then Jun spots Hao at the grill and she walks right up to him and gets a good look at him, then gets in his face...
“...Jun was it?...”
Jun blinks two times....
“Uhm...”
“...YOUVEGROWN SOOO MUCH” Jun hugs Hao into her chest.
“HHMHFHFHFMF!”
Jun looks down a realizes what she’s doing then let’s go...
“What was that?”
“I said ‘let me go’”
“Oh...”
Jun then spots Faust....
--
Faust and Anna had finished off the Chicken Salad and were now sipping on orange juice and relaxing on the blanket... They didn’t notice the glint in Jun’s eye as she ran up to them and then pure joy on her face when she jumped at Faust...
Faust looked around at the last second and he’s eyes bugged out and he ducked and Jun flew into Anna...
“OH YOU’VE GOTTEN SOOOO OLD FAUST!!”
Jun was hugging Anna like she would have Faust and Anna’s eye was twitching
While Faust took that old comment the wrong way and started to cry in the corner with Eliza comforting him.
“So how is that nice old decaying dead wife of yours!?”
Then Eliza leaned into Faust and started to cry with him.
“Still quite as always hu? Good for you!”
Jun then lets go after seeing Ryu...
--
Manta was trying to get away from Opacho. The person man thingy had been fallowing him around for the past half hour. Some people had left and (well they walked out but Silva had tripped one too many times and couldn’t get up and had in fact said “help, help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up...” but no one paid attention and walked on him) some people stayed but on both accounts they had stuffed them selves on Hao’s surprisingly delicious burgers and salads of all types. (Ok so for the salads the overly predictable mortal combat like battles took place) anyway Opacho had spotted Manta oh his rounds and continued to fallow him around...
“What are you doing!?”
“Fallowing the master...”
Manta anime fell
“What do you MEAN master!?”
“My people depict our god as a short man that has spasms problems I am now 100% sure that you are his reincarnation!”
“I am not!!”
“ARE TOO!!”
“ARE NOT”
“LIER LIER PANTS ON FIRE!!”
Manta looks down to see that Hao had set his pants on fire during the fight probably because Hao doesn’t want Opacho fighting with anyone...
“AIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
--
Ren had no idea why he even came; he knew he’d never be able to live this down.
“What kind of man brings his home made pies to his enemies Barbeque?”
He kept walked along with his basket full of pies that he had hand made for this event...
--
Ryu (after getting away from Jun) was wondering aimlessly through the BBQ grounds, when he weft the pies.... the wonderful smelling pies that made his mouth water...he started to look around frantically for the source and saw that Ren had a picnic basket (and that he was wearing a red cloak around his normal outfit)
“Ren must have pies! I must get that pickynic basket,” then added “Right boo-boo?”
Then Bo-Bo from that hold cartoon about Yogi and Yellowstone national park started to talk “That’s right Ryu”
--
Ren didn’t think anyone noticed his basket but then he heard the foot steps and turned around to see...
Yoh
“Hey Ren you’re a little late but lucky for you a lot of people are staying for the fire works...”
“....”
“Hey what do you have there!?”
Yoh pointed at Ren’s basket.
“..Pie’s...”
“Oh really? Cool put them on that table next to what’s left of the salad bowels...”
“Fine....” Ren walks over to the other wise disserted picnic table and places down the basket. He started to place out the pies when a shadow came looming over him and he turned around to see Ryu...looking at him...hungrily...
Ren started to mutter “My what a big fork you have there Ryu”
“The better to hold pie crust my friend”
“My what a nice bib you have there”
“All the better to keep my shirt clean my friend”
“My what-” Ren was interrupted by Ryu pushing him aside
“Listen kid I don’t have all day I want pie!” Ryu yelled angrily
So Ryu went in for the pie BUT Ren stuck out his foot and Ryu tripped on it and his face landed in the pie.
“Silly Ryu, pies aren’t for you!”
--
Kanna had taken good care of Marco which was a surprise to both of them because of the on going “I'm going to kill you” atmosphere they had before the BBQ. She walked past the examination table that Kororo was laid on and gave her one lore look over before giving the newly wrapped up koropokkur to her Ainu care giver.
“Remember to check the bandages on her arm in a couple of days and that that mouth ointment should keep the burns in your mouth down. Seriously HoroHoro what the heck were you thinking *takes a drag of cigarette* “
HoroHoro’s response was rather altered by the cotton balls in his mouth so Kanna just pushed him out the tent and went back to Marco.
“Just because you helped me with my almost fatal wounds that were given to me by that midget man doesn’t change the fact that you’re a filthy sinner!”
“Say don’t spray it...” She starts to push him out of the tent.
“What are you doing!!??”
“Your WAY too stressed! You need a walk...”
“I am NOT a dog!”
“YES you are...I know you are...the kinky man that you are...”
“HOW YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THOSE VI-“Marco slapped his mouth shut
“Rainbow video’s man....they have all sorts of stuff...”
“I thought I had destroyed all those copies!”
“Obviously not...”
“...”
“Is it really that big?”
“JUST PUSH ME YOU SINNER!!”
Kanna spent the rest of the BBQ pushing Marco around and even got to have fun when she pushed him down the hill.
--
Morphine and Lyserg had tried to stay out of trouble and after that whole ‘kicking Kororo’s butt’ thing they had to try extra hard...but trouble found them...
“YO British dork! What’cha doing with my women!?”
Lyserg turned around and was very surprised to see Manta standing there...in a PIMP suite.
“Excuse me Manta?
“Dude there is no excuse, I told her not to hang out with trash like you any more!”
“I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! I don’t have to be a spy for your family ANYMORE!”
“Oh please,” Manta steps forward “I know you love the thrill, dodging bullets and dogs fitting into pockets and holes for secrets”
“Like the one about you still wetting the bed?
Manta said nothing he was embarrassed
“Or how about the one were I catch you looking at Eliza in a very impure manure!?”
“OR how about the one were I see you try to kick Yoh in the butt every time his back is turned!??”
“OK OK! YOU WIN this time but you belong to the Oymada’s you know that!”
Manta then throws a smoke bomb and disappears.
“Uhm Morphine?”
“Yes?”
“I’m confused! ;___;”
“Good, now take me to the pie I smell!”
Morphine kicks Lyserg in the shoulder he was carrying her on.
“You’re so mean to me”
“Oh WAA” morphine rolls her eyes.
--
Manta had run away to hide near the forest and lost the PIMP suite.
“Geeze I hope no one heard what that traitor said...” it was then Manta felt some one tap on his shoulder.
He turned around slowly and saw Faust standing there...
“O__O”
“What’s this about you looking at MY WIFE!!?” Faust’s eye was twitching again....
--
Ren and Yoh sat at the picnic table with the pies and were in the middle of an important discussion...
“I say phantom menace sucked more”
“NO attack of THE CLONES SUCKED MORE!!”
Then they heard “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”
“Must be that bed wetter Manta....”
“Hmmm......clones sucked MORE!”
“DID NOT!”
“DID TOO!!”
--
Manta was never heard from again.
--
Those who hadn’t already left had gathered for the promised fire works some sat on the grass or at the table while people like Marco had there ‘nurses’ stand with them. HoroHoro stood off to the side of the fire works group holding the poor beaten Kororo in his arms while Lyserg and Morphine were In the middle of talking near HoroHoro...
“I TOLD YOU NOT TO SNAP MY GOOGLES!!”
“HAVE MERCY PLEASE!!”
What happened next wasn’t pretty but only lasted two min. after words he was dazed on the ground blinking up at the twilight sky...
“Ok time for fire works! ^__^” Hao said happily this was what he was looking forward too all day...
“But HAO there ILLEGAL!” yelled Yoh...which woke up Lyserg...
With a blank look Hao responded with “most fun things are...” and he lights a match only to be tackled by Lyserg....
“NO-FIRE-WORKS!!” Lyserg somehow got a hold of Faust’s Ax thing and was threatening Hao with it and Hao was about to respond but...
“MY HAIR!!! AHHHH!!!” The match had been thrown from Hao to HoroHoro’s hair... which apparently was REALLY flammable... he dropped Kororo and had, in the chaos, stepped on her.
HoroHoro kept running around so much that the Spirit of Fire (who had gotten over his ‘incident’ with the chicken salad defenders™) picked him up and tossed him into the...
~~
Anna figured with everyone busy with the fire works she could get her last chance to relax in the poor, she didn’t care that the water was now freezing cold she wanted to have fun floating on the water!
Anna had gotten on to the inner tube and floated out to the center of it...when she spotted something red coming toward the earth and she thought it was a comet so she kept staring until
SPLASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
....lets just say that HoroHoro was bald for a LONG time....and probably couldn’t have kids...
~~
Back to the fire works...Hao was pinned to the ground by Lyserg (who sported a black eye from Morphine) with Faust’s ax thingy (which had an unusual amount of blood on it because Lyserg hadn’t done anything...) Yoh was in shock in the back ground and everyone was just waiting for the fire works.
“Hey spirit of fire?”
The spirit looked down at Chocolove who had, had his own series of adventure that day but wasn’t worth mentioning for an important reason...I just don’t know it is...
“Why don’t you just light the fire works?”
Everyone who was waiting looked expectedly at the spirit and then...
“OH why me? Why not on of the other spirits is it just because it’s in my name isn’t it? Well you know hwy you guys can just jerk off!”
The spirit of fire than ran away from the BBQ not waiting for anyone to react.
“I only suggested it because he was closest...” Choclove then shrugged and got Ren to light them.
“GUYS!! I JUST got through tackling Hao for that!!”
“So we want fire works!”
“Ok...”
Lyserg gets off of Hao and then drops the ax thingy and walks over the group.
--
The fire works then went off without a hitch...ok OK other than the hitch that involved Lyserg duck tapping Morphine on a rocket... but other than that no hitches!
When everyone started to go home and take there things with them Anna, Hao, and Yoh watched them leave from the porch.
“Hey is that Kanna and Marco leaving together?”
“Yes Yoh but it’s not like they have a choice.... Marco doesn’t have health insurance....”
“Oh”
Jun was caring the sleeping Ren in her arms out the gate when she noticed the basket was gone... and then notice in on Ryu’s head....or rather the basket was jammed onto Ryu’s head in a fit or rage and it was stuck.
Morphine (who was EXTRA crispy) was sleeping in the nap of Lysergs neck as they left. They had gotten there usual relationship tension out that day... Opacho had left on his own after spotting Silva as the spirit of fire and being stupid enough to think he was the real spirit of fire. And Faust had found more chicken salad in the fridge and was eating it on the blanket....even though it was dark out and Eliza was near him flattening the dirt mound that had been needed...>.>
HoroHoro ad Kororo never came back to that place. HoroHoro would eventually never be able to taste again and Kororo well she ended up being able to beat Morphine but only after years of ‘Rocky I’ training.
“Well that was a really nice BBQ” Yoh said excitedly
“It was?” Anna asked back.
“YEP I’ve got black mail for the next year on everyone!” he then laughed evilly and said “I’m going to change into my footsey pajamas now...good night”
“Night Yoh...remember to leave the light on”
“I know Anna I know how you get about the dark...”
“Thank you”
Anna then turned to Hao who was tired. Spirit less, and sun burnt.
“We should do this more often”
Hao fell to the ground in pain.
------
A/n: ok a comedy Shaman King Fan Fiction fallowing the ideas of some random posts on the Shaman King uncensored boards dudes it rocks and the folks over there are AWSOME...if not a bit quirky.... they inspired this so credit goes to them. I don’t call that ‘bashing’ I call that comedy hate. I hope it got a few laughs out of you by the end there I was rung low on puns, metaphors and jokes...=/ I hate it when that happens...
--
yah sorry to dissapoint T-T
. Then she completely loses it on poor Silva until Yoh brings out some food.
