Evil Overlords

[Useless]

Another annoying list thread ;D:

What not to do for those aspiring to become an evil ruler or owning their own empire and army.

[Gus]

*DIES*

I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

Useless, for finding this, you have won at finding things.

>_>;;

..........yeaaaah. It's insanely funny, I do say.

[resurie]

Brilliant. That's all I have to say.

When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

*dies*

[Useless]

Some of my favorites:

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

141. As an alternative to not having children, I will have lots of children. My sons will be too busy jockeying for position to ever be a real threat, and the daughters will all sabotage each other's attempts to win the hero.

142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids.

[MetaKnight]

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

*Laughs loud enough to disturb everyone in the library*

[I change my name everyday!]

My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

XDDDDDD

[wannabeeliza]

29.I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

9.I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

48.I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.


*giggle*

Some of my favorites

and the all time most pwning, most awsome and all around 'must fallow' rule:

100.Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

[niji]

*dies*
For the love of cheesecake and all else that is good...
This list is genius.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

teh win. XDDDD