Poetry...

[AF]

Well, since I didn't see any threads about poetry, I decided to start one : D

In this post, I'll put up one of the poems I used to ask a girl to Homecoming (which failed miserably), with a small edit, because I don't want people here to know where she lives...

"Would a rose by any other name
Still smell as sweet?"
These words were said by some dead guy.
I think they're kind of neat.

Though some would make fun of your name,
I would never, ever.
Because I'm not like everyone else,
I'm wouldn't rather you be named Heather.

Though this may seem corney,
And not very well thought out.
I have tried my best,
Even with all my doubt.

The doubt that resides within me,
Is whether or not you'll say 'yes'.
I do not know how you will answer,
Nor am I the best.

Now you live on [scensored],
But you used to live near me.
I wish you hadn't moved,
So I could've seen you more frequently.

Now, I come to the end.
How am I doing?
My poem is almost over.
Will you go with me to Homecoming?

Okay, now it's your turn : D

[Lobsterdeth]

somewhat disturbing pic

That's you.

[AF]

I don't cut, I don't even know what The Used or Hawthorne Heights is (aren't they bands?), but I do listen to MCR and Linkin park...however, you should learn constructive criticism, or to not say anything, unless it's nice.

EDIT: And can someone please delete his post?

EDIT 2: and I have short hair, and it's all dark brown.

[MetaKnight]

Personally, I don't think that it's that bad. I especially like your first two lines where you make an old quote, brush it off and then exalt it.

[AF]

Thank you, Meta *bows respectfully*

Second poem I used to ask a girl to Homecoming:

A lot of people say,
That "the third time is a charm."
But I will only ask you once,
Any more can cause harm.

I have a question for you,
But I will ask it later.
Please do not skip ahead,
I hope you can be a waiter.

When I use the term "waiter,"
I don't mean someone who waits tables.
I mean someone who is patient, and kind,
and does not give people labels.

I, for one, am a waiter.
So I will wait, for ever and ever
To see how you will answer,
How you will answer my endeavor.

And as for my question,
It's in the next verse.
Hold on, keep reading!
Please place this in your purse.

Here comes the question,
I don't know if you've guessed it or not.
Will you go with me to Homecoming?
Please tell me, whether or not.

[Lovely]

Locking this thread because of Lobster's Personal attack against AF.
Constructive criticism is fine, but that was just going a touch too far.

Feel free to start a new thread AF (sorry for going the extreme route of locking, but I just don't like to delete things.... and this thread is young enough that re-starting it won't be too bad.)