My Complaint about the SKU message board

[Lovely]

My complaint about the SKU message board

Writing this letter stems from a desperation to be heard, if not by a court of law, then by a court of public opinion. To plunge right into it, the SKU message board is doing everything in its power to make me become the target of prejudice, ridicule, discrimination, and physical violence. The only reason I haven't yet is that I believe in the four P's: patience, prayer, positive thinking, and perseverance. If you looked up "brown-nosing" in the dictionary, you'd probably see the SKU message board's logo. The SKU message board is trying hard to convince a substantial number of perfidious, juvenile airheads to till the homophobic side of the phallocentrism garden. It presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite gormless trolls to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that when I say that the SKU message board's doctrines are vindictive, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something vindictive or that they have one or two vindictive characteristics. I mean that they are vindictive. In fact, the most vindictive thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that the SKU message board's buddies get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with the SKU message board, and meeting some other unenlightened poseurs is merely a social event. They're not even aware that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they're right. And the SKU message board is to blame.

Although there's no denying that the SKU message board's parasitic, insecure conjectures are not something that endears it to me, it may be somewhat more controversial to allege that I don't believe that the sun rises just for the SKU message board. So when it says that that's what I believe, I see how little it understands my position. Which brings me to my point. To say merely that I am not suggesting government censorship of the SKU message board's witless philippics is a vast understatement. The SKU message board labels anyone it doesn't like as "pharisaical". That might well be a better description of it. On a more pedestrian level, if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that one of the SKU message board's fans keeps throwing "scientific" studies at me, claiming they prove that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. The studies are full of "if"s, "possible"s, "maybe"s, and various exceptions and admissions of their limitations. This leaves the studies inconclusive at best and works of fiction at worst. The only thing these studies can possibly prove is that the SKU message board's catch-phrases are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying".

The SKU message board will stop at nothing to produce culturally degenerate films and tapes. This may sound outrageous, but if it were fiction I would have thought of something more credible. As it stands, the SKU message board's more than shambolic. It's mega-shambolic. In fact, to understand just how shambolic the SKU message board is, you first need to realize that if I hear its coadjutors say, "It's okay for the SKU message board to indulge its every whim and lust without regard for anyone else or for society as a whole" one more time, I'm definitely going to throw up. If the mass news media were actually in the business of covering news rather than molding public attitudes to spread tribalism all over the globe like pigeon droppings over Trafalgar Square, they would really report that I have frequently criticized the SKU message board's unspoken plan to discredit legitimate voices in the absenteeism debate. It usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of opportunism, absolutism, child molestation, and halitosis. The SKU message board hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that if the SKU message board doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to waste taxpayers' money, then it should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend it buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then, the SKU message board will grasp the concept that I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why it doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. But the short answer is that if it can't be reasoned out of its prejudices, it must be laughed out of them. If it can't be argued out of its selfishness, it must be shamed out of it. Finally, if this letter generates a response from someone of opposing viewpoints, I would hope that the author(s) concentrate on offering objections to my ideas while refraining from attacks on my person or my intelligence. I've gotten enough of that already from the SKU message board.



Generate your own complaints using the Complaint Generator !

[Ssteiny]

god, I feel stupid. Just hit me with a shovel. sinks in chair, blah.

[Lovely]

*WOOSH*

Read the very bottom (last line) of the post and the link .

[Drave]

Aha. I got it at the 'The SKU message board will stop at nothing to produce culturally degenerate films and tapes.'

porn? no. maybe.

[kfttjdb]

The language tipped me off. No offense, Lovely, but you just don't write like that. ^_^

[Lovely]

No offense taken. I'm glad you can catch my writing style. And to be honest, I don't think anyone really writes like that *laughs*.

I kind of dig the term "mega-shambolic" though.

[Saturn]

My complaint about Lovely

At times, we all have an axe to grind. Currently, I'm grinding my axe in regards to Lovely's equivocations. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against Lovely and her subtle but unforgiving attempts to rely on the psychological effects of terror to magnify the localized effects of her communications so that, like a stone hurled into a pool of water, shock waves ripple from the epicenter of Lovely's attacks to the furthest reaches of the Earth. She believes that the best way to serve one's country is to guarantee the destruction of anything that looks like a vital community. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one. While others have also published information about boisterous sociopaths, the worst classes of heartless heresiarchs there are are born, not made. That dictum is as unimpeachable as the "poeta nascitur, non fit" that it echoes and as irreproachable as the brocard that Lovely backstabs her vassals. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that her premise (that merit is adequately measured by her methods and qualifications) is her morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Lovely uses this disguised morality to support her flimflams, thereby making her argument self-refuting. Lovely's hastily mounted campaigns share a number of characteristics. They turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals. They progressively narrow the sphere of human freedom. And they hurt others physically or emotionally. Put together, these characteristics imply that you won't find many of Lovely's disciples who will openly admit that they favor Lovely's schemes to identify political and religious groups that are her political enemies and re-label them as "unpatriotic, obtuse slubberdegullions" in order to justify operations against them. In fact, their smears are characterized by a plethora of rhetoric to the contrary. If you listen closely, though, you'll hear how carefully they cover up the fact that Lovely has stated that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that the best way to reduce cognitive dissonance and restore homeostasis to one's psyche is to make a mockery of the term "pectinatodenticulate". Now that's just intemperate. In conclusion, let me just say that we stand to lose far more than we'll ever gain if we don't insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward boosterism.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know I just couldn't resist Anyways...I think it would have made a nifty April Fools joke

[Lobsterdeth]

Silly, very very.

[Kyone]

The link at the bottom magically made me realize that it was okay to not understand what in the world that post said. XDDD

[Throes]

That made me feel pretty stupid, but then the link magically appeared at the bottom, and I felt smart again. And now that I read through it again, the SKU message boards is a target of physical violence... ON THE INTERNET?!

The whole thing really doen't make much sense if you try to read it...

[Lovely]

Yep, it's basically just rambling giberish. Fun, fun. Not to say it doesn't make some fun lines. Like implying that the board makes its own porn. Buwhahaha...

I liked this line in the generated complaint that Saturn made.

shock waves ripple from the epicenter of Lovely's attacks to the furthest reaches of the Earth

So dramatic *laughs*.

Yep, it's all in good fun. It's fun to throw random Shaman King characters in the generator too!

EDIT: I'm a dork. These things amuse me and make me giggle...

My complaint about the internet and cheeto's

Please forgive me, but I told you so. I predicted long ago that the internet and cheeto's would spread hatred, animosity, and divisiveness. Now that it has, I'd like to express my thoughts on the matter. Before I start, however, I should state that to understand what its particularly sordid form of nepotism has encompassed as a movement and as a system of rule, we have to look at its historical context and development as a form of two-faced politics that first arose in early twentieth-century Europe in response to rapid social upheaval, the devastation of World War I, and the Bolshevik Revolution.

The internet and cheeto's insists that the laws of nature don't apply to it. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. The internet and cheeto's keeps telling us that its vices are the only true virtues. Are we also supposed to believe that it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future? I didn't think so.

I must emphasize this because it may seem difficult at first to make the internet and cheeto's answer for its wrongdoings. It is. But I wouldn't judge the internet and cheeto's's acolytes too harshly. They're just cannon fodder for the internet and cheeto's's plot to enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values. Just like dirty clothes on the floor and cluttered closets, the internet and cheeto's's mess won't go away if we simply look the other way. If everyone does his own, small part, together we can defend with dedication and ferocity the very rights that the internet and cheeto's so desperately wants to abolish. The internet and cheeto's's blanket statements are based on some deep-rooted personality disorder. Never forget that and never let the internet and cheeto's introduce more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms.

[I change my name everyday!]

My complaint about Mr. Joseph Stalin

I've written many letters about Mr. Joseph Stalin's destructive reinterpretations of historic events. Maybe it's wrong to fixate so much on this one topic, but I assure you that my arguments are not wrong. First off, I have a message for Joseph. My message is that, for the good of us all, he should never doctor evidence and classification systems and make lackluster generalizations to support unscrupulous, preconceived views. He should never even try to do such a hotheaded thing. To make myself perfectly clear, by "never", I don't mean "maybe", "sometimes", or "it depends". I mean only that you won't find many of Joseph's yes-men who will openly admit that they favor Joseph's schemes to promote, foster, and institute feudalism. In fact, their positions are characterized by a plethora of rhetoric to the contrary. If you listen closely, though, you'll hear how carefully they cover up the fact that Joseph's cat's-paws get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with Joseph, and meeting some other humorless proponents of quislingism is merely a social event. They're not even aware that Joseph is out of control, like a runaway freight train. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. In this land which has befriended naive, impudent loan sharks, Joseph has conspired, plotted, undermined, prostituted, and corrupted, and -- hiding to this hour behind the braver screen of invidious scalawags -- dares to contrive and scheme the death of every principle that has protected him. Only through education can individuals gain the independent tools they need to stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of Joseph-induced disaster. But the first step is to acknowledge that his co-conspirators are tools. Like a hammer or an axe, they are not inherently evil or destructive. The evil is in the force that manipulates them and uses them for destructive purposes. That evil is Joseph Stalin, who wants nothing less than to violate all the rules of decorum. To those uncompanionable big-mouths who think that divine ichor flows through Joseph's veins, know this: If I didn't think Joseph would give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to his deep-rooted love of fascism, I wouldn't say that he says that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to promote mediocrity over merit. He apparently wants to use us to fulfill his purblind mission. Why? That's easy. If the past is any indication of the future, he will once again attempt to understate the negative impact of Comstockism.

Joseph is like a broken record, using the same tired cliches about family and education and safer streets, yet he has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with lascivious litterbugs. Is this because he needs their help to nail people to trees? No, don't guess; this isn't audience participation day. I'll just tell you. But before I do, you should note that if I didn't sincerely believe that he is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. If it is not yet clear that I could go on in this same vein for hours, then consider that if you can make any sense out his obtrusive, merciless publicity stunts, then you must have gotten higher marks in school than I did. A few days ago, Joseph actually admitted that he wants to publish blatantly unforgiving rhetoric as "education" for children to learn in school. Can you believe that? Perhaps Joseph forgot to take his antipsychotics that day. An additional clue is that he, already oppressive with his myopic epigrams, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species -- if separate species we be -- for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought, then consider that Joseph's cronies don't represent an ideology. They don't represent a legitimate political group of people. They're just flat unstable.

Joseph doesn't care about accountability in our public systems. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, you'll understand why Joseph has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that I'm willing to accept that there are people better equipped to cope with life than grotesque dweebs. I'm even willing to accept that society as a whole should act as a unifying force to illustrate the virtues that he lacks -- courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. But he is not only immoral, but amoral. What so many people find difficult to grasp is that Joseph believes that anyone who disagrees with him is ultimately superficial. That's just wrong. He further believes that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of salacious stereotypes. Wrong again! When I first became aware of his covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how I once told him that nearly all of the assumptions and statements made by him and his janissaries are completely, absolutely, and totally wrong. How did he respond to that? He proceeded to curse me off using a number of colorful expletives not befitting this letter, which serves only to show that Joseph maintains that either human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements or that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. Joseph denies any other possibility. Joseph yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for Joseph, "attract attention" usually implies "make individuals indifferent to the survival of their families". Our goal must now be to enable patriots to use their freedoms to save their freedoms. If you believe that that's a worthwhile goal, then I can decidedly use your help. Let me hear from you.

...

I lol'd. xD

[heezaaaa]

My complaint about Resurie

When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how malignant Resurie Rawr is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that it would please Resurie greatly to treat traditional values as if they were nettlesome crimes. Although my approach may appear a bit pedantic, by setting some generative point of view against a structural-taxonomical point of view or vice versa, I intend to argue that I am sick of our illustrious "leaders" treading on eggshells so as not to upset Resurie. Here's what I have to say to them: Resurie wants to create a world sunk in the most abject superstition, fanaticism, and ignorance. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. The struggle against what I call loud party animals must be a struggle against Fabianism, pessimism, and neopaganism, or it is doomed to failure.

Resurie decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that she fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. She ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: Her behavior is beneath contempt.

Fact: She lacks the courage to confront me face-to-face.

Fact: I cannot conceive of any circumstance under which her roorbacks could be considered appropriate.

In addition, we should not concern ourselves with her putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Resurie once tried to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you surely don't understand how Resurie operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that she spouts the same bile in everything she writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue Resurie's excited about this week is communism, which says to me that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of her writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Resurie's writings to know that the only way for Resurie to redeem herself is to stop being so cold-blooded. Let me try to explain what I mean by that in a single sentence: Resurie uses the word "calcareoargillaceous" without ever having taken the time to look it up in the dictionary. People who are too lazy to get their basic terms right should be ignored, not debated.

Have you ever had a bad dream about Resurie trying to take the focus off the real issues? Well, I have news for you. That wasn't a dream; it was real. Isn't it true that her opposition to scapegoatism has been more rhetorical than substantive? If that's not true, tell me why not. According to her, she has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. She might as well be reading tea leaves or tossing chicken bones on the floor for divination about what's true and what isn't. Maybe then Resurie would realize that her faithfuls believe that she's merely trying to make this world a better place in which to live. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to find the inner strength to make the world safe for democracy. I don't mean to condemn anyone's beliefs, but I have always been an independent thinker. I'm not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Resurie. Okay, I've written enough for one letter, so let me just finish by saying that there is another side to the issue.


xDDDDD

[resurie]

*DIES*

That post was simply calcareoargillaceous, Furu! *shot*

XDDDD

[s91/S-chan/DoomStick]

My complaint about Lord Gus

I am writing this letter in simple English in order that everyone can read and understand my words. Read on, gentle reader, and hear what I have to say. Lord Gus is a sore loser. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if he didn't, you might come to realize that he doesn't want to acknowledge that as commonly encountered, heartless weasels lack any of the qualities that mark the civilized person, like courage, dignity, incorruptibility, ease, and confidence. In fact, Gus would rather block all discussion on the subject. I suppose that's because his complaints are counterproductive to society. And here, I believe, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in his epigrams. I'll let you in on a little secret: Gus just keeps on saying, "I don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. I just want to encourage men to leave their wives, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become treasonous devil-worshippers." It is certainly the height of ironies that he knows that performing an occasional act of charity will make some people forgive -- or at least overlook -- all of his rummy excesses. My take on the matter is that Gus says that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life.

Regardless of what Gus seems to aver, he carries the seeds of his own self-destruction. His precepts leave me with several unanswered questions: What does he hope to achieve by repeatedly applying his lips to the posteriors of maladroit, splenetic casuists? And does he contend that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible because it fits his political agenda or because he's too ignorant of the facts to know that his flunkies, when they are taken seriously at all, are considered by most scholars to be of questionable credibility? These are difficult questions to answer, because he should clarify his point so people like you and me can tell what the heck he's talking about. Without clarification, his inveracities sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don't really seem to make any sense. If I try really, really hard, I can almost see why he would want to palm off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide jingoism. Gus's values present us with a riddle: Is he hoping that the readers of this letter won't see the weakness of his argument relative to mine? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that if he continues to engage in or goad others into engaging in illegal acts, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets.

How can we trust Gus if he doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with him. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I answer the huffy creeps who sell otherwise perfectly reasonable people the idée fixe that Gus has the authority to issue licenses for practicing larrikinism. With this letter, I hope I have made my views clear: Those of us whose minds are not narcotized still remember Lord Gus's frequent outbreaks of savagery

[edit]
My complaint about Your monther

I've been doing a lot of meditating and praying lately and this has helped me collect my thoughts and organize them into the letter you're about to read. Some background is in order: If you think that this is humorous or exaggerated, you're wrong. Your monther apparently wants to use us to fulfill its oppressive mission. To a lesser degree and on a smaller scale, Your monther has stated that society is screaming for its assertions. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that it has answers to everything. Now that's just untoward.

Having said that, let me add that just because Your monther and its adherents don't like being labelled as "morally crippled guttersnipes" or "mentally deficient reprobates" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. My dream is for tired eyes to open and see clearly, broken spirits to find new energy, and weary arms to find the strength to argue about Your monther's insults. Considering the corruption and foolishness that characterize the worst kinds of callous duplicitous-types I've ever seen, it is immature and stupid of Your monther to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit. It would be mature and intelligent, however, to uplift individuals and communities on a global scale to encourage opportunity, responsibility, and community, and that's why I say that it doesn't want us to clean up the country and get it back on course again. It would rather we settle for the meatless bone of sadism. In order to understand the motivation behind Your monther's ideologies, it is important first to find more constructive contexts in which to work toward resolving conflicts.

Your monther's intent is to prevent us from asking questions. It doesn't want the details checked. It doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts it presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of its "facts" are false. It is difficult for many people to accept that what Your monther considers a fair shake, the rest of us consider a repressive, humiliating, culture-stripping experience. There, my ranting is finished.